


Almost Like A Memory

by nevereverever



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: A break it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Coming Out, Communication, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble, Fluff and Angst, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Not A Fix-It, dad jokes, immediately following 4-4, very sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 08:45:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevereverever/pseuds/nevereverever
Summary: Jack let out a soft laugh that was more like a sigh than anything. The puff of warm air reminded Bitty to do something he hadn’t thought about since he saw the puck fly into the goal in those final seconds.Breathe.





	Almost Like A Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! I made it worse! I saw that panel of our boys snugglin and I thought "ah yes, a perfect opportunity to make them have a sad chat about homophobia" but don't worry, it turns out okay because of healthy communication. Enjoy!

Bitty had never felt so tired yet full of nervous energy in his life. Come to think of it, he had felt a lot of new feelings in the last 48 hours, but he really wasn’t in the mood to dissect them all yet. He schooched closer to the head of the bed until he felt Jack’s arms around him, all warm and muscled and comforting.

“You’re tired.” Jack stated, using his thumb to trace the curves of Bitty’s shoulder. He had this little worried look on his face that made Bitty think he was more tuned into how Bitty was feeling than his words let on.

“You’re a Stanley Cup Champion,” he shot back, letting his eyes drift closed. Jack let out a soft laugh that was more like a sigh than anything. The puff of warm air reminded Bitty to do something he hadn’t thought about since he saw the puck fly into the goal in those final seconds. 

Breathe.

He let out a breath he had been holding since the breathless excitement of the game. Then another he had been holding since graduation day when he watched 3 of his best friends leave him, then another from sophomore year, and another he had been holding since he was 14 and he realized Madison couldn’t really be home anymore. 

He didn’t notice how his sighs were turning into sobs. He didn’t notice how hard and fast his breaths were coming. He didn’t realize there was so much tension built up in him until he heard Jack’s calming voice through the ringing in his ears.

“Bits, it’s okay, you’re okay. We can talk about this, whatever this is, but I just need you to breathe with me right now eh?” And Jack counted, just like Bitty did for him when he was was in a bad place.  
In, two, three, four-  
Bitty was so worried that the tension balled up in his chest wouldn’t go away, the even with their words of support, his Mama and Coach would never treat him the same again. But he couldn’t make those words, he barely knew how. It was like learning how to skate, when brand new things are accessible to you, but you have to relearn everything you thought you knew.  
Out, two, three, four-  
This wasn’t something he thought he knew. He had prepared himself for anger, for the pain and rage that so many gay Southerners experienced. He had turned that over in his head so many times it was almost like a memory.

He wasn’t ready for this in between. This “we’ll figure it out” and “Jack played a strong game.” It didn’t feel over. He wanted it to be over.

Outside the bubble of his panic was Jack. Amazing beautiful Jack, being so brave and kind and counting breaths for him. How could he not fall in love with this man?

With Jack counting in his slow even voice, Bitty remembered the other half of breathing. He breathed in the love Jack provided to him every day. He breathed in the excitement of the last few days. He breathed in all of the support he had for his friends, and his heart slowed down to a normal pace, and the tears slowed down to a trickle.

They sat in silence for a while, breathing together. Bitty opened his eyes to see Jack still had that little worried look on his face. Reflexively, he reached up and smoothed out the crease between his boyfriend’s brows. Jack smiled.

“Talking or sleeping?” He asked, bringing his hand up to cradle Bitty’s neck, holding him steady.

“Talking,” Bitty replied, his voice lilting upward like it was a question. He was trying to be responsible after all the procrastination of the last few days. Talking with your partner is responsible.

“Okay,” Jack said, leaving the air still for whatever Bitty needed to get out. It was only quiet for a heartbreaking moment.

“She sounded scared, Jack. Like she was afraid of me, of what I’m doing. She kept saying ‘we’ll figure it out’ like I’m some mystery to be solved. But I’ve got it figured out. I’m gay,” Bitty let the words fall from his lips like the creek that ran through their property when he was a kid. Tears started to well in his eyes again.

“She made it sound like everything was okay, but I don’t think it is. I thought I would come out and whatever happened would happen and it would be over. But it isn’t over yet, and I don’t know if they’ll ever stop bein scared of me,” Bitty was crying again (just a little), and he didn’t really try to stop himself.

“I’m sorry, bud. I’m sorry this is so hard and scary. I’m sorry this isn’t as easy as it should be. As you deserve it to be.” Jack didn’t want to tell him it would be okay, and he didn’t want to try to fix it because he knew he couldn’t. He knew all he could offer was support and empathy.

“I don’t know what this feeling is. I don’t know if I’m sad or angry or somethin’ else. I shouldn’t be angry, that’s not fair to her. To Coach,” his voice broke over the final words, and it just about cracked Jack's heart in two.

“Don’t tell yourself shouldn’ts. You are allowed to feel whatever you need to right now,” Jack sounded like he was saying something out loud he said in his head every day. There was a moment's silence, Jack running his hand up and down his boyfriend's back, Bitty trying his hardest to believe what Jack was telling him. Both of them breathing. 

“God, I’m just so tired.” The sentence held more than it usually did. Bitty took a deep breath in and puffed it out.

“I know, bud, I know.” Jack pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, then his nose, then his cheeks. Bitty giggled just a little.

“You are so wonderful,” he said, firmly at the juncture between laughing and crying, “I must look crazy!” He brought a hand to his eyes and scrubbed at his tears.

“Crazy cute, maybe.” Bitty rolled his eyes as much as he possibly could.

“You stop it, Mr. Zimmermann! I’m having a very dramatic emotional breakdown, this is no time for your dad jokes!” 

“I think it’s exactly the time for my Dad jokes,” Jack ran a thumb across Bitty’s cheek, “ready to sleep, love?”

“Yeah, I’m real tired.” Bitty pulled himself a little closer to his boyfriend, letting his hand come to rest on his hip. He pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes

“Hi Real Tired, I’m Dad.”

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann, you will be the death of me!” 

“Love you Bits.”

“Love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it friendo! If you did, let me know :) If you didn't, also let me know


End file.
